Why coaching is different.
Last week a coaching client was rehearsing with me something she wanted to say to another person. And then quickly asked, “What do you think? What would you do?”
As her coach, I shifted the conversation back to what she wanted to say and do. But after the session I was reflecting on what was at the heart of her question and thought about what I’d love to share with her. This is my open letter to her and all those struggling to answer, “What do I do?”
The world is full of expectations—those you put upon yourself and those created by others. Someone is happy to tell you the best car, best neighborhood, best schools, best careers today, best careers for the next 10 years, the right shoes, skirt, and make-up that will convey just the right image.
If you stop to really look around to see all the information, advice, demands, and suggestions coming at you, you’ll see that there are thousands of people who are willing to give advice and convince you that their thing should be your thing.
Say, “Yes,” to your definition of success.
Here’s my wish for you: I want you to take the time to ask yourself that really important question, “What do I really, really want?” That’s what I’m here for. I want for you to be able to tell the world what you want for yourself, for your family, for your career. I want you to feel liberated to say, “No,” and not feel guilty. I want you to say, “Yes,” and really mean it. I want your heart to sing and have it be heard. You choose your mission, your cause, and the impact you will have in this world. Because if you don’t show up with your gifts, no one can show up for you.
This is what makes coaching different from consulting, therapy, training, mentoring, and friendship (which are all awesome things!). All those answers to, “Who do I want to be when I grow up?” and, “Where do I begin to help those living in poverty?” are all right there inside of you, under a few layers of FOMO, frustration, hurt, unworthiness (i.e. other people’s expectations). This is where your coach comes in: to help strip away the layers so you can hear that little voice inside of you once again.
Where do you create space to hear what your heart is saying or what the next best step is?